When we say thank you, we acknowledge that what we have received is valuable to us. It may be help, attention, a conversation, or simply someone standing by us during a difficult time.
But is saying ‘thank you’ really the same as truly experiencing the feeling that the word conveys? The two may go hand in hand, yet I would not wish to equate gratitude merely with a task carried out correctly.
To know about it, or to experience it
There is much to be said about love even without feeling it close to us at any given moment. We can talk about it and understand its significance, yet it is quite different when we actually experience it in an encounter or a gesture.
For me, gratitude is linked to this experience. It’s about realising that something has touched me, and making space for what it meant. It’s not just about keeping track of the good things I’ve received, but about connecting with them.
A gratitude journal can provide an opportunity for this reflection, but simply making a list is not the same as actually feeling gratitude. If we write something down simply because we feel we ought to be grateful, it’s worth allowing for a more honest response: ‘I don’t feel what I’d like to feel just yet.’
That does not make us unloving. Gratitude isn’t an exam in which we have to prove that our hearts are open enough.
What makes a favour a favour?
In Hungarian, the word szívesség, meaning ‘a favour’, brings to mind szív, ‘heart’. I value this as a poetic association, not an explanation of the word’s origin: I do something not to call in a favour later, but because the other person matters to me.
This does not preclude sound judgement. Even help given out of love can have its limits, and we can still give from the heart whilst being mindful of what we are actually capable of. Reason and the heart do not necessarily work at cross-purposes.
Faith and an open heart
In my spiritual outlook, prayer and meditation also offer the opportunity to connect with God. It is a turning towards God in which there is room for trust, questions and gratitude: the realisation that we are not alone.
I speak of the energy of the heart and the open heart chakra as part of my own spiritual perspective. Within this perspective, I understand the heart chakra as a spiritual energy centre associated with love and connection.
It is within this framework that I understand the creative power of faith: it matters how confidently we approach life, what we dare to ask for, to accept and to do. This does not mean that the power of our faith guarantees the fulfilment of our desires, or that a difficulty is the consequence of not having enough faith.
When things turn out differently
Sometimes it only becomes clear later on that something we didn’t get actually made way for another opportunity. In such cases, gratitude can also be felt for what once caused disappointment.
However, we cannot force ourselves to feel this way. We do not have to be grateful for the hurt we have suffered, nor do we need to immediately find a silver lining in every loss. We can feel sad about one thing, whilst at the same time feeling sincere gratitude for something else.
When we express our love or gratitude, we make it clear to the other person what their presence has meant to us. We may not necessarily receive the same in return, yet what we have said or done may still be of value.
For me, gratitude is not a way of shaping my life according to my wishes. Rather, it is a form of trust and awareness: noticing what I have been given, allowing myself to feel what I feel, and, where I can be genuine, responding with love.
With love,
Georgina
Soul4you