There are changes we look forward to, and there are those that come when we least want them. We do not always get to choose what changes come into our lives, but we can seek ways to move forward in the new situation.
In my spiritual outlook, the idea that we can learn from life’s events plays an important role. However, I do not mean by this that everything that happens is good, or that loss and pain are merely a matter of attitude. The opportunity to learn does not take away the difficulty of such experiences.
What are we actually afraid of?
When we are afraid of change, it is worth taking a closer look at what it is we are afraid of. Is it the unknown? Is it the fact that we have no experience yet of what lies ahead? Or is it that we do not have enough support around us?
Letting go can be difficult too. We may be moving away not only from people and familiar situations, but also from a role through which we have, until now, defined who we are. What may appear to be a simple change from the outside can raise many more questions on the inside.
At other times, fear of change is not the issue: we have not yet considered that change might be necessary. The situation has become so familiar that we do not even ask ourselves how we are feeling within it.
See first, then decide
Acceptance may be the first step, but it is not the same as approval or resignation. It can simply mean stating: ‘This is where I am now. This is what has happened, and these are the options I can see.’
From here, we can ask more precisely how to proceed. What is my role in this? What can I influence, and what is beyond my control?
We cannot control other people’s decisions as we please. However, we can work on our own responses and, where necessary, take steps to change our circumstances. Turning inwards does not replace taking action: it can mean asking for help, setting boundaries or seeking out a new opportunity.
What can help us move forward
We may already have some useful experience, but we simply haven’t thought of it as a resource until now. At other times, we need new knowledge or tools: a book, a course, a frank conversation, or perhaps professional support tailored to the situation.
For me, one of the valuable aspects of learning is that it allows us to discover new sides to ourselves along the way. We don’t need to know everything in advance, but we can seek out what will genuinely help us make our next decision.
Forgiveness, whether of others or of ourselves, can also be part of moving on. However, this is not an obligation, nor is it a task with a deadline. We do not have to excuse the actions of those who have hurt us, or return to a harmful relationship, in order to start shaping our lives differently.
Perhaps the most pressing question isn’t what we should learn from all of this. First, we might ask: what do I need right now to be able to take the next step?
With love,
Georgina
Soul4you